Three Myths About Having Self-Compassion

Three Myths About Having Self-Compassion

We hear a lot about having self-compassion these days, but, for most, the concept is foreign to them. Not long ago, the feeling was that life was tough, and that was all we could look forward to having. Men and sometimes women worked day and night. Some women tended to the home and family. People woke and got up in the morning to the rooster crowing sound and then went to sleep when the sun set. They did this repeatedly day in and day out with very little or no time taken for the family or themselves.

Myth One: Self-compassion is only a Fad

Today we are more self-aware than ever. Humanity is more evolved, and we are conscious creators of our lives, intending to make a difference in the lives of others, too. Self-improvement and self-help have gone from being a little experienced luxury to being included in our regular daily routine.

Extensive research being done in the fields of personal development and psychology show the long-term benefits of experiencing self-compassion. When taking on the practice of self-compassion, there are many benefits, but here are the top two:

1) Being compassionate to ourselves helps us feel better, work better, play better.

2) Being compassionate to ourselves in life’s daily moments helps us take the burden off expecting others to do it for us.

Myth Two: Self-compassion is So Selfish

For many people, doing things just for themselves makes them happy, and when that does not include others, it can feel so selfish. When we do something for ourselves, we often bring ourselves joy. Take some time to journal during the day and see how many times you are hard on yourself. When you take on the determination of self-compassion, there can be many benefits:

  • A positive, optimistic attitude
  • Less angst, bitterness, or resentment
  • You are more pleasant to be around
  • You present a role model to others
  • A happier, more empathic attitude means
  • a happier and healthier
  • body
  • mind
  • spirit

We take the burden off of others to always be the ones who need to:

soothe us

nurture us

take care of us

We all have the need of others in our lives when life throws us a curveball.

We all have an overactive inner critic, and when we use the practice of self-compassion to challenge those thoughts, we help ourselves and those around us.

Myth Three: Self-Compassion is only for the Spiritual Folks

Self-compassion is not about being spiritual or religious.

Having self-compassion creates results. Imagine being in a meeting or part of a project, and something goes awry. Taking the time, energy, and most importantly, the focus off of yourself and onto troubleshooting and problem-solving changes the course of the project. Not only does it change the course, but it also can change the outcome.

Asking the inner critic these questions helps improve your life:

  • Is this helpful?
  • Is this inner criticism a fact?
  • Am I a mistake
  • Did I make a mistake?
  • Can I learn and grow from this?
  • How can I use this to rebound quickly?
  • Can I use this to make a better decision?

As you can see, self-compassion can come from a logical place when we challenge that inner critic.

Look and see where you can, in your life, challenge the inner critic, dispel these myths, and make a difference. Learn about having self-compassion.

You can review Compassion Part 1 and Compassion 2


Compassion and Empathy Are Not Interchangeable

Compassion vs. Empathy: What is the Difference?

Compassion and empathy are not interchangeable.

Compassion means having concern or sympathy for someone else’s suffering and wanting to go alongside them on their journey.

Empathy is defined more by relating to and understanding their feelings.


Having compassion means showing sympathy and concern for someone or something.

Compassion is driven by:

  • Wanting to see a change in that person’s life
  • Standing with them as they suffer
  • Suffering along with them
  • Being there as they go through a difficult time
  • Being supportive in words, thoughts, and actions.
  • Giving words of comfort (condolences along with positive words of encouragement)
  • Being an effective listener.
  • Sharing with someone they are in your thoughts and prayers is a way of offering encouragement. It shows support during their difficult situation.
  • Thinking of them
  • Praying for them
  • Holding space to listen
  • Being  there for them

Compassion in action

Taking action steps to take care of things while someone is experiencing difficulty in life shows compassion in action.

For example: Picking up a friend’s child from school while she is visiting her husband at the hospital.

  • Taking care of a home
  • Cooking a meal
  • Making phone calls
  • Helping organize paperwork


  • You understand what they are going through
  • A relatable experience, you have previously undergone
  • Feeling what they are going through
  • Sharing thoughts and emotions with someone else
  • Understanding how someone else is feeling
  • Empathy uses emotional intelligence to

Relate to someone else’s feelings

  • Understand
  • Feel

How You can be More Compassionate

Start with yourself

When the inner critic tries to take over

  • Think kinder, gentler thoughts
  • Act more compassionate toward you
  • Tell yourself you are worthy of receiving
  • leave any guilt behind

Once compassion for yourself is an established habit, you can take on sharing that with others.

Fill your compassion cup, and then you can share compassion.

How you can be a More Empathetic person

  • Listen without judgment
  • without the desire to respond.
  • Without thinking a million other thoughts
  • Relate


  • what it might feel like
  • to have their experience
  • to be that person

Be Real

  • show up as raw and vulnerable
  • let your own guard down

These are the significant differences between compassion and empathy. Learn how to implement more of each throughout the day. Remember compassion and empathy are not interchangeable.

Learn more in part 1

Increase Your Ability to be Compassionate Part 1

Increase Your Ability to be Compassionate Part 1

You can find many people  who are compassionate. How can they could do that? Or how you could become more compassionate? Learn how to increase your ability to be compassionate.

You can learn ways to increase your ability to be compassionate. You can observe ways in others and apply them to your situation.

Compassion is learned with practice. Like learning a new habit, it takes practice until you can see that behavior appear more naturally in your life.

Start with self-compassion. Decide to experience that for your life. It is a good thing to learn a different way for how to treat yourself. Practice a new way to speak about and to yourself.

How to Practice your self-compassion

  • Talk back to every negative voice in your head
  • Replace every thought that is negative with a positive one.
  • Release accomplishing guilt.
  • Take mini-breaks.
  • Be your best.
  • Speak to yourself in new ways
  • Treat yourself like you would a good friend.
  • Make up your personal reward system.

Your self-compassion needs to be practiced every day. You can give again  only after your cup is full and overflowing. To have self-compassion is not a selfish thing. It is essential and necessary to have so you can give back to others.

Compassion to Others

  • Take time to notice, and even journal, throughout the day each time someone is compassionate to you.
  • Join an accountability group to create the new habit of being compassionate to self and others
  • Take time throughout your busy day and pause – ask yourself where and how I can show compassion in this situation.
  • Avoid reacting to anyone else’s negative mood, just ask them if they are okay. Chances are their negative mindset is a cry for help, for someone to listen, or for someone to ask!

Compassion as a Habit

Being aware of where, how, and when you can apply compassion to both oneself and others is the perfect way to create compassion as a habit.

  • Practice self-compassion
  • Ask where, how, and when you can offer compassion to others
  • Notice compassion

Take on these practices, and before you know it, compassion will become a natural part of your life.

Continue to learn how to increase your ability to be compassionate.