Improving relationships that need your TLC
Is there a relationship so real and pure that there isn’t a conflict from time to time? Maybe. But it isn’t very likely. No matter who is in the relationship, clashes occur once in a while. It is important to communicate in a positive and tender way.
It can be a difference of opinion with your spouse, a friend, children, a teacher, or even your minister. Beliefs fill our lives, and not all those beliefs or opinions will agree with you.
The U is understanding
That’s when you need to reach deep and pull up your tender loving care or TLC. We’ve all heard about TLC. We have needed it more than once. It can be useful to add a U to TLC, making it TLCU. The U is understanding.
One of the first steps in improving relationships is understanding the problem. Once you know the problem or the underlying cause of the disagreement, you’re more likely to be generous with your TLCU.
You might remember the movie, Love Story. It introduced the idea about love that it means not having to say you are sorry. Other films have said that if you love someone, you would not in the first place have hurt them.
No person is always totally right and no-one is ever totally wrong. Step back and begin to view the situation from your friend’s perspective, eyes, and heart. They might feel as you do that they were right, and you were wrong. When you take their stand, you understand the situation from a different point of view or angle. It broadens your perception, ideas, and even ideals.
Remember, it has to be more than you being right. Sure, it may be a matter of your pride, but just being right is not enough if you genuinely respect the other person. It would be best if you appreciate your friend’s self-respect and dignity. They deserve and expect your empathy as you deserve theirs.
Attempt to understand and empathize with the other person with more than words. It’s easy for you to say that you know how they feel. Still, when it’s only words you are saying, and then you’re no closer to improving the relationship than before. If there is something that you can do physically, do that. When the argument is about anything tangible, show your sincerity by bringing it into play
Listen to others
Communicate, and then listen to what they have to say. Always communicate in a positive and tender way without being accusatory. Even if you’re sure they are wrong, do not make them feel like they are responsible. Keep everything happy and cheerful. Allow them to explain any disagreement from their point of view. It’s more about not just being right if you put a value on your relationship.
Please show your appreciation for them and express your forgiveness. To forgive another person is to be forgiven yourself. There is more to life than unimportant, trivial matters. Learn to compromise. Forgiveness and compromise take a lot of practice.
You may find you want to blame others, but examine yourself. Blame is frequently a shared responsibility between both people. Always keep your expectations high. Be realistic but expect to improve the relationship. You may have to give more than you get. Giving TLC becomes more comfortable with TLCU.